Wednesday Morning Jackisms (and Brennisms)

Friends, it’s been a crazy three weeks I haven’t been able to write much during that time (I mean, I COULD have hauled my laptop down to the beach an written instead of basking in the sun, but there are limits.) As a stop gap measure I offer up this set of sayings from my children. I hope that they make you smile (or thank God that you don’t have boys ; ) and I hope that your Wednesday is wonderful. Look for some more movement on this blog by next week sometime!

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Jack asked if he could come to the hospital to watch me have baby Meg. Paul: “Oh Jack. You don’t want to watch that. Mama hurts alot and yells sometimes and it’s just not fun.” Jack: “So…you don’t like to watch either, Papa?” Paul: “No, not really.” Jack: (sympathetically) “Well, maybe you could just close your eyes and cover your ears while she is yelling and hurting.” Well, at least we know what Jack will be doing someday when his wife is in L&D.

I was talking to Brenn this morning about dreams – good dreams, bad dreams etc. He asked if I had any bad dreams lately and I answered, “Well, last night I had a bad dream (about labor…shudder) BUT there was this one part of the dream where you were running around the house naked!  (Not sure why, but it was definitely a birthday suited Brenn.) Brenn’s eyes positively lit up and he shouted, “Mama! That sounds like a GREAT dream!!!!” Ah, boys : )

Before walking to McDonalds I stopped the boys at the door and jokingly asked (while pointing to the signage on the glass), “does everyone have on a shirt? Shoes? Any pets I don’t know about??” The boys laughed, shook their heads and we walked inside. Just after entering, jack (who had stopped laughing and had starting thinking) said, “So, I could still come in here if I wasn’t wearing pants…right mama??” I kind of choked and said that no, pants were absolutely needed. “But, they don’t have a sign about wearing pants. So, I don’t think I’d have to wear them. I think they’d make a sign, mama.”

Today Jack asked how, exactly, Jesus celebrated his birthdays. Cupcakes? Ice Cream? Cake? Presents?…..ANYTHING?? He was rather unimpressed that I didn’t know the celebratory traditions of the ancient Hebrews. Since he was -you know- GOD, Jack reasoned with me that there at least should have been cake : )   I should add that he was later concerned that Jesus had never gotten a chance to play video games…this thought actually eclipsed the fear of no cake : )

Brenn just came down to the basement and and said, “I am sooo cold!” I pragmatically answered, “Well, maybe you need some socks on your feet.” He walked up to me and while climbing up into my lap sweetly stated, “No, I just need a Mama to snuggle with.” In this case, the emotional argument wins 

On the way home from taking Jack to school Brenn suddenly announced, “Today I would like to go to Zaccheus’s house and play with him.” I asked, “You mean, Zaccheus from the bible? Why?” “Well, he is a little man, soooo, maybe a boy. And I would like to play with him.” “Um, Zaccheus lived a long time ago baby. He’s not alive anymore.” (Pause) “You mean….he’s DEAD?!?” “Um, yes.” (Pause. Sniff.) “Oh Mama, that makes me so sad…”

I was laying on my side on the floor after playing with the boys when jack came up and sat down beside me. He was patting my back for a while until he stopped, paused and then a moment later he vigorously patted my bum and cheerfully declared, “Mom! Did you know that this part of your body is big and round just like your belly!! They match!!” Lovely. 

Brenn just came up to snuggle in my lap. Then he tooted. Then he sighed and reach up and kissed me. “Mama,” he said sincerely, “I love to toot and kiss.” Now if that isn’t a man talking, I don’t know what is : )

So Brenn was waxing eloquent during a conversation with Jack…saying how he can’t wait to meet the new baby, he’s so excited etc. At the height of his multiple exclamations of joy and anticipation he triumphantly announced, “and THEN Mama will go to the hospital where they will RIP the baby RIGHT OUT OF HER BELLY!!!”

Proof that I have an extremely absent minded son: he became very distressed when struggling to put on some shorts this morning…until I pointed out that he had already put on a pair of shorts this morning. “Oh…Heheh…I forgot. That would be silly to wear TWO shorts! (Big sigh). Thanks for telling me mama.” Sigh. I fear for him sometimes….

Tonight while driving we were having a discussion about the new baby and somehow we ended up on the topic of the umbilical cord. Brenn, being confused, asked “a cord??” Jack promptly answered, “Yes. A cord. Like on a vacuum.” Brenn, with wrinkled brow, “The baby is like a vacuum?” Jack, confidently stretching this analogy, “Yes, just like a vacuum. The baby is plugged into Mama…that is why it can move all around in her belly.” A little disturbing, but, for a five year old, I thought it was apt. Then the conversation meandered along until I suddenly tuned back into when I heard the boys describing how awesome it would be to have fingers “all over our bodies!” As we pulled into the driveway they were enthusiastically discussing all the benefits of having fingers in their noses, ears, armpits, and belly buttons. And giggling uncontrollably with each description : )

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