Today was one of those terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad days that leave you looking up and asking God, “really? What was all that for?!” (Only to look down and discover that you phone just ran out of battery. Sigh.) But God is good and as I drove home Jack rewarded me with one of his brilliantly hilarious statements. I laughed (and probably sounded a little crazy…but then, it was one of those I’m-laughing-like-this-because-I’m-about-to-fall-apart laughs : ) and my gray mood lifted. I truly believe that the moment was a gift from God. Just a little shot of joy to help me deal with all the frustration of the day. So, in honor of both my survival of this less-than-optimal day and my sweet boy who never ceases to make me chuckle I am going to post some more “Jackisms.” Feel free to read and enjoy….even if you day was super-duper fantastic : ) Again, the one that I wrote are normal, and the ones by Paul are bolded.
Me: “Should we buy Mama some flowers?” “No, we can get her a plant!” (laughs) “Jack, Mama kills plants.” (She totally does : P ) (Pause) “But she doesn’t kill people….or trees.”
Me: (holding clothes for Jack) “Jack, get your be-hind over here” Jack (confused), “I don’t have a be-hind Papa….(then, with great assurance) but I DO have a nipple!!!”
Jack wailing from his bed, “I can’t go to sleep! I don’t feel good Mama!!!!” “What would make you feel better Jack?” (Pause. Then with great confidence and zero tears) “Go Diego, Go?! That is a good idea to make me feel better.”
Me: “What does Jesus do, Jack?” Jack: “He helps people and he died on the cross.” Me: “What does God do?” Pause. “He just spins around and around and around.” ??? Where did I go wrong!?
Me: “Jack, are you tough?” Jack: “Yeah Papa!!” Me:”How tough are you?” Jack “I THREE tough Papa!!!!” (As opposed to “too tough” : )
What I overheard while doing dishes: Paul, “Jack, what do you want to be when you grow up man?” Jack gave the following answers “A chicken. No, a swimming person. A space man. A train driver. Right, papa??” Paul (laughing) “That’s funny. But I’m confused. What do you want to be again?” Pause. Jack “Just like you, Papa.” (My heart melts : )
I just watched Jack dip his s’mores granola bar into a cheese queso dip and happily eat it. Nearly gagged. Ah well. Maybe he will grow up to be an innovative chef with incredible flavor profiles : )
After singing “I Saw the Light” in my best bluegrass impression, Jack: What was that noise? Me: What noise? Jack: That “I Saw the Light” noise.
Me: “Jack, it is time for a nap.” Pause. Jack: “We can do three things Mama. First, I can drink some apple juice. Two, you play a game with me. Then we can eat a cookie. Yes. THAT is a good plan. I like THAT plan Mama.”
Me: “What happened at church today?” Jack: “Oh Papa, Alya hugged me!” Me: “Well, isn’t she a little forward!” Pause. Jack (defensively): “No Papa! She is just SO GOOD!”
Jack (snuggled in my lap after waking up) “Sssshhh Mama, I hear something!” Me: “What is it?” Jack: “My diaper. I hear the messy in my diaper. It wants to be changed.”
Me: (seriously) “Jack, what will happen if you disobey Mama?” Jack: (pause…smile) “I will get squashed like a little bug?!” Love hearing Paul’s influence….so helpful : )
Yesterday Jack was dragging his heels and when I said “Jack, you need to hurry up” he replied (with drama) “Mama, I am just having a rough time right now.”
Last night before bed I asked who we should pray for, and his sweet answer was “Well….who needs Jesus’s help?” : )
While driving to church this morning Jack broke the silence by saying “Mama, I forgive you.” I said thank you and the rest of the silence was spent by me trying to think of what I had done wrong : )
I just found a swath of snotty on Jack’s sleeve. I asked “Jack, where did this snot come from?” (Pause) “Ummm, God made the snot Mama.”