Some “Jackism” for your enjoyment

Normally, this blog is fairly serious; sanctification, holy living, marital conflict, etc.  We try to insert some humor into the posts, but in general, you probably don’t laugh that often (unless you find a particularly  egregious spelling error that we missed. : )   But this morning I thought that I would lighten it up a little bit. A few months ago, a friend of mine asked if I would ever consider blogging about Jack’s statements – just because they are so hilarious. I remembered that question this morning as I was filing some of Jack’s statements  (after I post a “Jackism” on Facebook, I usually go back and move them all to a document every few months) and thought I would share some of my favorites. I’m sure that they will provide some chuckles, even if you’ve heard them before : ) And laughter is good for the soul!  These are from when he was two and half. Enjoy!

 

To keep it simple, statements that Paul wrote on FB will be bolded and the ones I recorded will be normal.

 

  • Jack just sneezed blueberry yogurt all over me. A result of the fall no doubt.

  • Paul: “What is the chief end of man?” Jack: “To throw rocks at the beach”

  • “Momma? I ‘flicting you? Huh Momma? Huh? Huh? Am I? Huh? I ‘flicting you now?Huh?” (Paul frequently tells Jack that he is “afflicting” me when I am trying to cook…which I was at the time of this statement : )

  • Missions Emphasis Sunday: I thought it somewhat funny that Jack, confronted with a picture of a statue of the former communist leader of Albania during a slide show, pointed and said, “JESUS!” We promptly took him to the nursery.

  • Me: “remember Jack, mama is in charge.” Jack: “no…God is.”

  • Jack walks up to Paul and starts sniffing Paul’s shirt. Paul “What are you doing?!” Jack “I sniffing you Papa!” Paul “What do I smell like?” Jack…pause….”you smell like toys!!!!!”

  • What I hear from downstairs as Paul and Jack are making cookies together…. Paul “Wait…Jack…what did you just put in the bowl?” Jack “Meat.” (apparently, there was some pieces of browned beef on the counter from dinner : )

  • Me: “Jack, are you a human being?” Pause. Scrunches face. Then, “Silly Papa! I not a bean!…..and I not a hot dog either.”

  • So Jack disobeyed me this morning and during the subsequent conversation, a teary Jack finished my statement “God tells children to obey their….” (Pause) “friends.” Sigh. I think I am doing something wrong : )

  • Me: “Jack, are you telling me the truth?” Pause. Jack: “You can’t handle the truth Mama….” (Hmmmm, I wonder who taught him that : )

  • I told Jack that he couldn’t eat a frozen french fry. In a fit of rebellion he stuffed one into his mouth and resolutely began to chew. And chew. And chew. And chew.  Finally he said “this is cold, Papa. And gross. ” 

  •  Jack: “I hurt.”  Me: “Good. Pain is weakness leaving the body. ” In “duh” voice, “I don’t think (“sink”) so papa.”  (Note: he wasn’t really hurt.)

  • Jack’s verse for today “Honor your father and your mother.” I asked Jack what “honor” meant. He thought for a second and said “fight with!” Well, that explains alot…. : )

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