Jackisms and Brennisms (and a Chloeism)

Today I have one hundred and one things to get done before I travel to Pennsylvania tomorrow. But, sticking with my normal MO of flagrant procrastination, I am going back through Facebook and copying all of the funny quotes that have sprung from my boys’ lips this past year instead of doing any of those necessary things. Because, really, the Friday morning before a long trip is the best time to do this kind of activity : )

Anyway, I was reminded again at just good it feels to laugh until I cry. Some of the quotes from Brenn in this post are my all time favorite (especially the first and the last ones.) I hope that they brighten your morning!

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Brenn: “hey Momma, in the movie ‘Kung Fu Panda’ what is that animal that is white and black and looks like a bear???” Me: “You mean, a panda?” Brenn: “That’s a panda?!?!”
Oh my. It’s these times that I worry…

I just complained that I need some medicine (for a headache) and Jack quickly asked, “why? Are you sick?? Are you PREGNANT???” Wha-what? Who taught him to jump to crazy conclusions? And who taught to ever asks woman if she’s pregnant?Who’s raising this child!?

Brenn (pointing to a jar of cherry preserves), “Is that jam, papa?” Paul (being a perfectionist), “No, it’s something else.” Brenn, after a pause, “Is it blood???” As if these are the only two choices…

That beautiful moment when, during the middle of a giant hug, your little boy is tenderly holding your face in his hands and then suddenly says…..”Oh! Mama! I forgot to wash my hands after I pooped in the potty and then wiped my bottom….”    Ah. Yes. I thought I smelled something…. : (

Quote of the day (credit to Desiree Talbert for recording this exchange): Kids have a small bag and are playing “Zombies go on a trip”
Jack: We need a map!
Chloe: We need brains!
Paul: I don’t have a brain. My brain is broken. 

When cutting Bren’s hair I am forever amazed at how quickly he descends from general unhappiness to full out hysteria. When I scratch his ear with the scissors there is a horrible pause followed by a descent to a level of histrionics never before seen….”MOMMA!!! I AM AFRAID OF YOU NOW!!!!!” Sheesh. 

When I asked Jack the difference between fiction and non-fiction he gave this reply – “Well, fiction is when two things are pushing against each other and it is hard to move – like if I was trying to walk and I just COULDN’t. Non-fiction is when everything is really slippery. Like…WHOA!…I would FLY across the floor if it was non-fiction.” : ) Heheheh. Not sure where he got the definition of friction, but it was hilarious as I was trying to figure out what in the world he was talking about.

I’m making a smoothie for the boys and letting them call out what they want in it. Brenn: “Strawberries!” Jack: “Rasberries!” Brenn: “Banana’s, apples, blueberries and…and…um…cherries!!” (Pause) Jack: “and BACON!!!” : )

Overheard: “Jack! Come here! This is a fun game!” “What game?” “Hit the couch and see ALL THE DUST!!!” (The sun is shining through my living room and dust, once released from my furniture, is very visible. But I’m not sure how I feel about the dustiness of my house being considered entertainment. : P )

I was asking Jack about school today while cleaning up the kitchen. During all the chatter, he enthusiastically declared, “and man, recess wasn’t good. We only got to play in the gym for a SECOND!” I absentmindedly asked, “why only a second?” Then he stopped, rolled his eyes and said, “*Mom* – that was *hyperbole*. It was short, but not only a second. That would be impossible.” My word. I’m raising a grammatical nerd.

Today, while changing after a trip to the pool, Brenn informed me that he was out of underwear. I stopped the dryer, grabbed a clean pair, and held them open for Brenn to step into. In my mind, underwear straight from the dryer seemed like cozy way to get ready for a nap. Brenn, however, had a different take on the situation. “AHHHHHHH!!!!!! My bottom is BURNING!! My bottom is SO HOT! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” (As he desperately yanked the offending undies off and hopped around the hall clutching his “burning bottom” : )  


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