When God’s Voice Sounds Childish

There is a part of me that always wonders what it must have been like to hear God’s voice, audibly. Sometimes the people in the bible who were able to experience this phenomenon seemed ridiculously underwhelmed by it. I always think of Jacob, who flat out talked back to God. Takes guts, or stupidity, to verbally disagree with the creator of everything.

But then, God doesn’t need words to come out of our mouths in order for him to hear us, does he? And if thoughts communicate just as clearly as words, then this morning I was having a pretty heated conversation with God myself.

Paul and I are heading into that time frame when the Air Force is deciding our fate for the next few years. One frustrating aspect of this period is the amount contradictory information we seem to receive about our upcoming assignment. Friends with prior military experience are shaking their heads right now as they read this. “Of course it’s confusing. This is why you never make assumptions about anything! Nothing is certain until the orders are in your hand! Don’t look up schools or jobs or houses at any base until you have the paperwork with a move date! Stop trying to plan anything! Sheesh, girl. Are you crazy?”

Grrrrr. It’s all true and it grinds my liver (as my German grandmother would say.)

I’m not a “sit around and wait till something happens” kind of gal. No, I’m more of a “find out all the information you can, talk to everyone involved and then set about making happen what you want to make happen!” type of person. You can see why this attitude and my position as the spouse of an Air Force officer might not mix well. So I wring my mental hands in consternation, tap my mental foot with impatience and engage in mental dialog with the person that I think should be more on top of this situation….God.

This morning’s conversation was pretty direct. “Lord,  I trust you. I do. But this back and forth, this possibility then that possibility, this time or maybe that time….well, it’s getting old. And annoying. And I just feel like maybe you think I need to learn to trust you more but I swear, I do trust you. You can send us anywhere. I’ll be cool. But please, PLEASE, can make the process of finding out where the ‘there’ is a little more transparent? A little more reliable? A little more….plannable?!?”

With those words on my heart, I went through my morning. I wrestled with the words. Thought through them. Weighed them against what I had said in the past. Analyzed my heart attitude.

You see, I’m a parent too. And if I can see my children’s sneaky motivations shining clearly through their pious-sounding requests, then I am confident that God (as the ultimate parent) can see right past my prayers in order to gaze at my true desires. So I want my desires to be biblical.

And darn it, I’m pretty sure that they’re not. Sigh. Being like Jesus is hard work ya’ll.

By 8:15 I was driving down the highway, through the rain, on my way to school. A dreary day matching my dreary heart. It was about that time when I decided that Meg’s 5th rendition of “How Far I’ll Go” left me just a little annoyed with Moana’s spunk and bravery. So on went the CD player and in went an album of scriptures in song for children. The bible beats Disney, every time : )

The songs played, the kids listened and we made it to school. On the way back (with a much quieter ride) I sat with my thoughts dancing through my head in an unorganized sequence. Through the mental fog I started to listen to the current song playing on my stereo. And I heard,

“Dear friends, don’t be surprise
At the fiery trials you are going through.
Instead be very glad!
For these trials make you
Partners with Christ in his suffering
And we know
That in all things
God works for the good
Of those who love him.
God works for the good
Of those who love him!
For the good, for the good,
For the good, for the good
Of those who love him”
(Taken from 1 Peter 4:12, 13, Romans 8:28 and John 16:33).

Ok, so that grabbed my attention, tugged at my heart and got the tear ducts working. Then the next song started and I was afraid I was going to have to pull the car over and just have a good cry.

“Do not worry about your life,
What you’ll eat or drink,
About your body, what you’ll wear.
Is not life more than food,
And the body more than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air.
They don’t sow, they don’t reap
Or store away in barns
And yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
So seek first,
His kingdom and his righteousness
And all these things
Will be added.
Seek first,
His kingdom and his righteousness
And all these things
Will be added, to you.
(From Matthew 6:25-26, 28-34)

See, this was God speaking to me. It could not have been clearer. And for the record, I’d read my bible this morning. I’d prayed. And I hadn’t sensed God’s voice.  But here, HERE was an answer that came from God’s mouth to my ears via the sounds of a children’s CD.

It was the message I needed at the moment I needed it.

So. That’s a nice story, but why tell you about it? Well, I had a few thoughts as I finished my drive home. First, (and aside from maybe asking God to let my ephiphanies occur when I’m not driving at 70 mph down a major highway) never doubt that God is listening to your emotional ramblings. You don’t need to craft the perfect prayer. He’s listening to everything you think anyway so just be honest, misguided desires and all. I mean, work on your desires, but don’t wait to be perfect before talking to God cause…it ain’t gonna happen. Second, never doubt that he can find a way to answer. Granted, it might not be the answer you want (I wanted clarity on when and how we’ll find out our next assignment) but it will be the answer that you most need in order to become more like Jesus in that particular moment. More than trusting God, I had to be reminded that he was actively working for my good, even though it might not look that way to me. Also, rather than fret about the circumstances out of my control, I needed to live my life for his glory and the good of others. (Worry can derail even the best of intentions when it comes to loving others.)

Lastly, look for ways to include God’s words into your everyday life. In my case, his voice came through a musician singing to children. But maybe you’ll  hear his voice while listening to christian radio. Maybe you’ll hear his voice while talking to a fellow believer about the trials of life. Maybe you have a Spotify account and are listening to one of our playlists (yes, they’re still on this website!) Maybe you’ll hear his voice while reading a christian book (if you need recommendations just ask me : ) Maybe you’ll hear his voice while listening to the bible being read out loud. Maybe you’ll hear his voice while sitting at church, listening to a wise teacher. But look, God will speak to you if you give him the chance.

So give him the chance, friends. Give him the chance.

Even if it is by listening to your toddlers’s CD.

(I don’t endorse alot of things on this blog, but I am strongly endorsing these CDs. You will not go wrong in having your children listen to them over and over and over and over. I should know. Oh, and “Sing the Bible Vol 2” is my all time favorite with “Underwear” being a close second : )

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