A Few “Jackisms” to Make You Laugh…Chuckle…Giggle…Or Just Smile :)

Tonight I am making a birthday cake for Jack. I just put it in the refrigerator to set before the final icing. As I was making this cake, I was thinking about the past five birthday cakes that I’ve made for this little boy. He really is a hoot. I love him so much. Motherhood may be a challenge—may even been the most sanctifying influence in my life (read, I find myself at the end of my rope and in need of God’s grace ALOT :)—but it is undoubtedly one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. And my Jack adds a brilliant layer of color to my already vibrant life. He’s those crazy neon streaks that bounce around everything else and blind me sometimes with their shear energy. Always thinking, never quiet and ever ready with a hilarious statement that makes me laugh even during the most frustrating days.


So in honor of my adorable boy, here are a few “jackisms” for you to enjoy : ) The one’s I wrote are normal text, Paul’s are bolded text.



 This morning a sleepy Jack walks past me to the bathroom mumbling “I have to go potty.” Shortly thereafter I hear him wail, “Help Mama!!! Help!! The pee is going everywhere!!” Ah. Boys. Aren’t they adorable : )

Jack: “Oh mama….I don’t need a tissue. I have my fingers! I will get it all out of my nose with my fingers.”

 During a discussion about heaven: Me: “Someday we will live with God for ever and ever. Would you like to live with God forever?” (Pause) Jack: “No.” Me: “What? Why not?” Jack: “Because I would like to live at my house some of the time.”

 Brenn was crying during dinner and in the middle of his non-stop chatter Jack stopped, looked at Brenn and said “Brenn, is my talking frustrating you???”

As I was sitting as a cross roads waiting for a chance to pull into traffic I heard Jack mumbling to himself in the back. (Normally, he is yelling at me to “watch out so we don’t crash into a car!!!”) Today he was looking out the window at the cars and quietly muttering “Oh…this is a disaster waiting to happen.”

We’ve been singing to pass the time; jack just requested that we sing “the star wrinkled banner” :)

This was the conversation today after Jack became pretty angry with Brenn. Me: “Jack, why don’t we pray and ask Jesus to help you love Brenn more than you love your toys?” Pauses. Thinks. Bows his head. (score! something I say is sinking in!) Jack: “Dear God, make Brenn go away. Amen.”

Jack saw a tin can I use to collect change and asked what is was for. Me (jokingly): “It’s where I put my money so some day you can go to college.” Jack (kinda of wrinkling his nose): “College? What is that? It sounds like a bad thing Mama.” : )

In the midst of his non-stop chatter from the back seat, Jack suddenly addresses me and says (very emphatically), “Mama, sometimes me and Brenn just SIN!” I said “Yes, but WHY do you sin?” (thinking maybe we can turn this into a great teaching moment where I can help Jack understand Jesus and his love and salvation etc etc) (Pause) “Well, I think because we are allergic to strawberries.”

How did “Jack, do you want to make chocolate chip cookies with Mama?” dissolve into the chaos that ended with “did that water in your cup come from the toilet?!?!?!” Ah Fitzpatrick, Tripp, Kimmel and all the other books and blogs that stand in judgment of my parenting skills….I salute you from the floor outside my downstairs bathroom while I try to decide how to handle a toddler who may or may not have taken a drink of toilet water : )

Me (after I hear Brenn crying when he should have been sleeping): “Jack, did you go wake Brenn up?” Jack “Of course. Yes. I did it, Mama.”

I took Jack and Brenn to Liz’s Mom’s but she wasn’t there. Jack: “OK Papa, you can leave now.” Paul “But who would watch over you if I leave?” Jack (in a “duh” kind of voice) “God.”

Just put Jack to bed. Before praying we were talking about Jesus, who he was, what he did for us, etc. I finished the conversation by asking where Jesus was. Jack looked at me and said with easy nonchalance, “Oh Papa, he is around here somewhere. He’ll find us when we start praying.” : )

Jack woke up badly from his nap. I asked if he was hungry and between crying and sniffing he dramatically replied “No..I just (sniff sniff)…um….yes…I don’t know!! (sniff sniff)… Mama I just need chocolate!” Ha!! (he’d been eating some M&Ms this morning so I guess that’s where it came from : )

While on the way home and stopped at a stop light beside a strip mall, I hear this from the backseat. “B(ah)…E(ee)…ER……..BEE?R!….That sign says “beer!”…What is beer? Huh? What is it?”

This AM at the store: Jack: “We can get donuts!” “Donut make you fat.” (Pause) “Well, *you’re* fat Papa, I’m just big.” “Jack. That’s not a kind thing to say about Papa.” (Pause) “Ok Papa, then tomorrow we can *both* be fat.”


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